i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
