Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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