Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I will pee on everything he values.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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