I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
