I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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