just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
