K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
