Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
