is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
