I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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