When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
