I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Actions speak louder than pants.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
