dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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