Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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