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so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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