AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
