i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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