I just saw a hot homeless man
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
