I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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