If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
