Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
