my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
