I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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