doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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