I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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