I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
