No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
