Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
