I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
