No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
