its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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