I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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