Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
