I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
barbara walters just said penis...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize