Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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