I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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