Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
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Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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