Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
