After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
