don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
