my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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