Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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