The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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