the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
