I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
