Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
