Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
