he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
