So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I FOUND THE LEGS
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
