The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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