you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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