it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize