I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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