I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize