Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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