I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
