Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
