I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
