she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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