his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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