happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
