All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
