Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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